This review contains spoilers!
Okay, let’s get this over with.
I didn’t like Rogue One.
Yeah, that’s right, a person who loves Star Wars didn’t like Rogue One.
I’m sure you are wondering why. Well, let me tell you.
I was excited about Rogue One. I love that Star Wars will continue on, even if the gaps before, between and after the two trilogies will no longer follow the Expanded Universe stories that are found in the books. But I digress.
When all the hype over Rogue One coming out was happening, I was trying my hardest to avoid all of it. In fact, I only watched the first trailer that was released, ignoring all other teasers and trailers. I wanted to go into this movie knowing nothing – well as nothing as you can get when it fills in part of the gap between the third and fourth episodes. I didn’t want to know who these new characters were, nor did I want to know about he recurring characters – and there were quite a few of them, from the trilogies and The Clone Wars series.
Can we talk about the lack of crawl? Because honestly, I thought that was Disney’s first mistake. We all knew ahead of time there wasn’t going to be a crawl, since apparently only Episodes get those and not in between movies,because the details aren’t important or some shit like that, but I felt like without the crawl I was watching just another SciFi movie.
Can we talk (complain) about the characters for a moment. I had such a hard time liking any of the characters in this movie, except Tarkin, because I love Tarkin and was so glad they included him. I felt like so many of the characters lacked any real dimension to them. They were simply just there to fill in space in the scenes. The one that stood out the most to me in this way was Bodhi, the pilot. He seemed to be disjointed from the story too much, he was there but, I don’t know, I wasn’t convinced they really needed him. Yeah, yeah, they did, because he knew shit about something or whatever, but yeah he felt useless to me. By far Jyn was my least favorite character. She was so unconvincing the whole time. She fought so hard against doing what everyone wanted her to do and then suddenly she was all “Oh yeah, I’ll totally help cause that’s what I want to do!” and it felt so wrong. The only reason she wanted to do anything because daddy was there and involved in it.
I thought Saw looked way too old. Yes, yes, Obi-Wan aged a crap ton between episode III and VI, and they all went through a lot with the war, but come on, Saw shouldn’t be that old considering the length of time line passed.
Then there is Krennic. Oh my goodness, did I hate this character. I think that’s the point of him, people are supposed to hate him, but my hatred was so much more than that. It’s like they wanted to make another Tarkin, but couldn’t make him too Tarkin-like, so they just made him an annoying whiny crybaby who wanted to be Tarkin but never could reach that Tarkin level of awesomeness.
Let’s not forget K-2S0, who annoyed the shit out of me for the entire movie. It’s like they were trying too hard to make his character comic relief but that he could only be funny in an overly insulting way.
So was there anything I liked about the movie?
Yes, I really enjoyed when the credits started rolling!
Okay, that’s not the only thing I liked. You know that scene where the rebel soldiers are trapped in the corridor and they are trying to get the plans through to the ship and Vader kills them all? Best 30 seconds of that movie, hands down. Although, I will admit it does bother me just a bit that Vader force gripped the gun out of one of the guys hands but doesn’t bother to even try to do the same to the plans. Yes, I get it, they had to get the plans through or else the entire original trilogy would be different. But come on, it doesn’t make sense to disarm guys when you can easy reflect blaster bolts away with your lightsaber and not try to get that critical bit of information back using that same Force technique.
Also, when everyone dies at the end, that was great. All those characters that I disliked are now erased from future movies. It put a smile on my face.
Alright, I’m done complaining. It’s sad that I didn’t love it, let alone like it, but I guess even fans of a series won’t love everything. I mean come on, lots of people hated Episode VII after all.
Side Note: I will admit that I feel like some of my dislike of this movie stems from reading Catalyst before seeing Rogue One. That book introduces several of the characters seen in the movie and sets up the whole building of the Death Star and what will eventually happen with Jyn’s family. This book pissed me off and it left a bit of a bad taste, which I tried really hard to ignore going into the movie but seeing those characters on screen brought all that hatred right to the surface.